


Reversed

by Ellsey



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Hiyori yells, Shinji's a giant dork, so basically everything is status quo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellsey/pseuds/Ellsey
Summary: Captain Hirako's phone won't stop ringing, and Momo decides to put an end to it by answering it for him. Will she regret her choice?





	Reversed

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Shiyori Week 2018! Because I'm crap at writing titles, the themes are the titles. Hope you enjoy!

_BRRRRIIIIIINGGGGGGG BRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNGGG_

The sound of a phone ringing echoed through the office of the 5th Division. Momo Hinamori, lieutenant of the 5th Division, stared at the phone warily. Her captain, Shinji Hirako, spent a lot of time on that phone. A lot of loud time. Momo knew exactly who was calling. It was the only person the captain ever spoke to on the phone: Hiyori Sarugaki.

Momo didn’t know much about Hiyori. She had asked some people who had known Hiyori when she was still shinigami, but most of them didn’t want to say anything about her. Captain Hirako had laughed heartily and said she was “a constant thorn in my side.” Momo wasn’t sure that was completely accurate though. Her captain seemed to take a special interest in whatever Hiyori had to say, and he certainly took time out of what should have been a very busy schedule to be berated by her on the phone. 

Which brought Momo back to the phone in question. It was on its third cycle of rings. Hiyori was certainly insistent. Captain Hirako had told her to just ignore the thing while he wasn’t there, but it was getting more difficult to ignore the constant ringing. Momo took a deep breath and answered the phone.

“Captain Hirako of Squad 5’s phone, this is Lieutenant Hinamori. How can I help you?”

There was a pause before Momo heard the expected voice of Hiyori ask with some shock, “Does that dumb baldy have you answering his phone for him now? Or is he just trying to avoid my calls?”

Momo cringed. This was already going poorly. “No, no,” she soothed, “Captain Hirako is just out right now. Normally I would never answer his personal phone calls, but it just kept ringing. I thought it might be important.”

“MY calls are ALWAYS important!” Hiyori huffed.

“Of course they are,” Momo answered back quickly. “I didn’t mean to imply they weren’t. The Captain always makes sure to be available to answer your calls.”

This mollified Hiyori a bit. “Well of course he does. Anyway, I guess you can help me. Idiot Shinji was supposed to get a recipe from someone there for me. Can you poke around his desk and see if you can find it?”

Momo hesitated. Answering her captain’s phone was one thing. Digging around his private desk was quite another. On the other hand, facing Captain Hirako’s theoretical wrath probably wasn’t as bad as whatever Hiyori would unleash on her if she didn’t do as requested. Momo decided to take the chance. Besides, maybe she’d get lucky and it would be right on top of his desk. 

“What kind of recipe is it?” Momo asked as she glanced over the captain’s desktop.

“Kouign amann. Shinji promised he’d try to get Hikifune’s very special recipe.” 

Momo shuffled some things around. Captain Hirako’s desk was a bit of a mess. “Well, I don’t see anything other than the usual paperwork here.”

Hiyori laughed. “That moron still doesn’t do his paperwork? At least he doesn’t have me to blame it on now. Well, not most of the time anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s here,” Momo said into the phone.

Hiyori gave a grunt of frustration. “Check his side drawers. He always hides things in there.”

Momo hesitated. Looking at things on top of Captain Hirako’s desk was one thing. Most of that was official business, and half of the time she was put in charge of it anyway. Digging through his personal things was another matter altogether.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Momo told Hiyori hesitantly.

“OF COURSE it’s a good idea,” Hiyori responded. “I give you permission blah, blah. Trust me, he won’t care.”

“Weeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllll…” was all Momo could manage.

“Look, if you don’t do it I’ll get super cranky and take it all out on Shinji, who will in turn take it all out on you and the rest of the squad. You’re just being a good lieutenant really,” Hiyori said jauntily.

Momo took a deep breath. “I guess I can look.” She released her breath, and then steeled herself to do the deed.

Captain Hirako’s drawers were a lot like his desktop- cluttered with random things. “What do you see in there?” Hiyori prompted.

“Nothing really,” was Momo’s quick response. “Just some random junk. Hair product, fashion magazines, jazz records...wait, what’s this?”

“Well, how would I know? I can’t even see it,” Hiyori growled.

“I didn’t mean...I mean I know you can’t...I’m sorry. Nevermind.” Momo looked at the object in her hand. “It’s just a folder that says ‘KROWREPAP TNATROPMI’”

This set Hiyori off laughing. “Is he still writing things in reverse? Hasn’t he figured out that everyone can read that stuff in a mirror? Hahahahaha he’s so dumb.”

Sure enough, when Momo read it backwards it made sense. “IMPORTANT PAPERWORK.”

“What an unexpected way to store his information,” Momo said in awe.

Hiyori paused. “Are you serious? He does everything like that. He thinks it’s cool. I’m starting to think you know nothing about him.”

Momo brustled. “I know he’s a good captain who’s probably a little lazy but almost definitely will not stab me at any point.”

Hiyori laughed again. “I guess you’re right about that. Flip through those papers and see if my recipe is in there.”

“Why would he keep a recipe for you among his private notes written in reverse?” Momo questioned.

“Because he’d think it’s funny to force me to look at it in a mirror every time I want to read it. Just look.”

Momo took a deep breath and dove in. Trying to figure out what most of it said without a mirror was giving her a bit of a headache, but it usually didn’t take long to figure out that none of these were recipes. Most of them looked like notes on people and places. One was a list of favorite hair products through the ages. Momo was having a hard time trying to figure out why the captain would even write most of this stuff down. It didn’t seem that important.

“I’m sorry Sarugaki-san, but I’m not seeing any recipes in here. It’s mostly just useless…” It was then that Momo saw something that made her pause.

“Useless what?” Hiyori demanded. “Why did you stop?? Did you find something good finally???”

Momo looked at the paper in front of her. It was titled “HTIW IROYIH ECUDES OT CISUM.”

Momo shoved everything back into the folder as neatly (yet quickly) as possible and shut the drawer. “No, no, no recipes at all,” Momo said nervously. “Nothing at all that involves you or music or anything. I’m sorry you’ll just have to ask Captain Hirako about your recipe. Have a good day.” With that she quickly hung up.

When Captain Hirako returned later, Momo was quietly finishing up all his paperwork for the day. The captain looked pleased. 

“Hey, you got all my stuff done? Man, you’re a way better lieutenant than Aizen ever was,” he told her.

“Well you’re a much better captain than that traitor ever was,” Momo said with a slight laugh. “Oh, um, sir, your phone kept ringing so I answered it and it was Sarugaki-san but she was looking for a recipe and I looked around your desk but didn’t see it and I hope she’s not mad at me,” she quickly added in one breath.

Captain Hirako looked a bit confused. “Eh? Hiyori called? I better call her back. You can just take the afternoon off. See ya tomorrow.”

Momo smiled and bowed her way out of the room. She slowly breathed out to let out the tension, and then got ready to enjoy the rest of her day. Having a captain that was not-so-secretly in love with his best friend was much better than having a captain that was a secret evil overlord she decided. They were going to get along just fine.


End file.
